Ok...so where do I start? I guess I'll start by saying I've been with EW for over 3 1/2 years now. We met in college and have been together ever since. Now I have known that I wanted to be with EW for probably about 3 years of our relationship. I knew that there would be no one but him. I'm tense, he's laid back. I talk, he listens. I clean, he cooks. I sing, he tells me to stop. So what could possibly be the problem?
Somewhere over the past 1 1/2 years our relationship has become cloudy. Over a year ago, our senior year in college, we decided to get married. Yup, we knew it was something we wanted, but we wanted to wait till we were done with school. Well, we both have graduated, and I now have a job. I also have wedding plans flowing through my mind. Ok...I lied, they are on my computer also. Guest lists, music lists, attendants, etc. We even have a date set: September 4th 2010.
With all of this you would think we are engaged, right?
Well, kinda.
Here's the thing. Apparently people who are engaged need a ring to show. This is something we don't have, and I couldn't care less. I say screw society's rules. I'm not marrying society, I'm marrying EW, and I don't know why people can't say "congrats" and leave it at that. Maybe it's just my upbringing. My family doesn't follow many cultural norms and we never have. My mom and dad were never officially engaged. My dad asked my mom if she wanted to look at wedding rings and they went to the store. No engagement ring, no fuss, and a few months later they were married.
I totally understand why some girls want the guy on one knee, the big diamond, and fancy wedding. I thought I did too, until we really started talking about getting married, then all that stuff made me sick to my stomach. I don't want that...really. If I had my way, we would be married yesterday. Oh yeah, I've thought about it. Just me and him, with two friends at the courthouse. I wouldn't have to deal with all this other stuff I'm supposed to do. But then what do I tell our family and friends?
So where does this put us? Honestly, I really don't know. I guess we'll be the dating/engaged/lovers for a little bit longer. Really though, EW isn't my boyfriend, and he hasn't been for a really long time. He's not my fiance or my lover...
He's really just mine, and he always will be.
1 comment:
I think that's great you two have found each other and you want to get married. I understand when you are in love you want to be with each other all the time, and being married would accomplish that. But you have to be able to afford housing, food, health insurance, school loans, etc. etc. etc. that are all part of the expeses of setting up house together. It is hard going at the beginning of any marriage not having a lot of money cause you are both just starting out with your jobs and they usually don't pay a lot at the beginning. Note: EW has to get a job first. But you'll appreciate the later years even more because you have had to go through these struggles in the beginning.
As to the engagement, My thoughts are that , I bet you do want a defining moment whatever EW decides to do when he asks you to marry him. It's a special moment in every girl's life. It doesn't have to be a diamond ring and down on a knee but it has to be something the guy sweats about and puts some thought into so he can prove he is worthy husband material for all those future anniversary days to come.
I wish you both all the happiness in the world in the next few years as you start your lives together. I think my son is a very fortunate guy to have found someone like you, Sabrina. I can't wait for you to be my daughter-in- law someday.
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