Where in the World?

Hey Friends!
Things have been a bit crazy around here. The days are counting down until our lease is up, and we still don't have a clue as to what we are going to do/where we are going to live. Things have been even further complicated by the fact that Bandit has been evicted from our apartment. The other 5 dogs in the no-dog building are allowed to stay I guess. They said they didn't know about others and deal on an individual basis. Needless to say, I am SO very happy that we will soon be out of this place! I hate apartment living, and hopefully in just another year we will be house hunting!
Even though things have stalled, I'm really trying not to let it get me down. I hate when I can't plan ahead, but right now we don't know what the next minute will bring, let alone tomorrow. I have really been seeking out God's guidance with all the situations going on right now. Also, I keep my confirmation verse on my mind. Not sure the number, but it's from Psalms. "Be still and know that I am God." This verse has gotten me though many rough times, and I'm sure it will get me through many more.
I have been on 2 interviews thus far, and I'm really hoping that I get a few more. The only thing is we can't find an apartment until we know where I will be working, if I get a job. I really have applied several places in and out of the area, so we're kinda stuck at the moment. I kind of have a back up plan if I don't get a teaching job, but that's a worse case scenario.
In my mind I know things will work out for the best, but it still keeps me up at nigh t that things are so unsettled. I think the hardest part will be finding a place to live. I am not at all excited about the apartments in any of the areas we are looking at. Either they are crappy or they are too expensive. It's just so depressing. Even though we still have a month an a half left in this place, I hate being here. When I came back from my parents house, I just wanted to walk right back out and go home. This place has never really been home to me, and I don't think anywhere will be home to me until we buy a house of our own. Just the thought of people telling us what we can/can't do, and people living here before and after us gives me the creeps. Everything that we have been though here makes me want to scream. The goal is to get a house within the next couple years, although that's only if I get a job farther south, since the prices are so much nicer down there. If we don't end up further south, I don't know what I'm going to do. Did I mention I hate apartment life? ha. I really need a job, since I can't stand being poor. I've done the whole poor thing for the past 25 years. I've put my time in, and I'm ready to get out. Oprah, if you're out there, do you need a new assistant? I'll work hard...
In other news: I've had a sinus migraine for the past 4 days, I'm down to about 6 pain relievers from 10, that's good. Bandit spent some time at Granma and Granpa's house. She loved it, and of course Uncle Tony was there too. He watched Bandit for me while I went to my interviews. She knows who everyone is now. If you ask her to go find Tony, Granma or Granpa, she runs and looks for them. She knew where Uncle Tony's room was and would go there to find him first. So cute! I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for Bandit I would be a mess in our current situation. I'm so lucky to be her mommy, and I am so happy that I pushed EW to think about getting her. Best decision ever! Now to think about adding to our brood...soon!
Bandit graduated puppy class. We are so very proud of her and how much she has learned. We're still working on polishing our commands, but it's going good. Our family picture is below.


Have a good week!
-Brina

Absent

Obviously I have been absent lately. It's not for the lack of things going on. I've been pretty busy on the weekends, but I no longer have a job. There is a long story behind it, but let's just say it wasn't for me, and the business and I decided to part ways. I am happy, since the job put alot of un-due stress on me, yet I am a bit upset because I feel like I failed. Failed at what, I'm not quite sure, but it's feelings all the same.

So that leaves me with tons of time during the week. All this time is filled up...ok, let's be honest, I totally fill up half the day with laying around the house. I have been putting out several applications for teaching jobs, and some housework, taking the dog on walks, and trying my best to practice her training, but that's about it. Every one of those things I could write a paragraph on, but I will try to condense the best I can.

Teaching Jobs---They are few and far between, especially in my concentration, but there have been a few. Considering for every opening there are 300+ apps sent it, I'm not holding my breath. All I can do is apply, if I don't get any interviews, I plan on subbing for the year, and maybe a part-time job on top of that.

Housework---I have been trying to clean the place up so it will be easier when we move out, which is less than 60 days from now...Yes, we are moving, to where? We have no flippin clue. I would like to hold out as long as we can, just in case some school gets desperate and begs me to come teach...HA. Also, as of the beginning of July, we will be homeless. The rent is just too expensive, and I don't have a job. Also, Bandit has joined our family, and we need to do the best thing not just for us, but for her also. I want a 1st floor place, so she c an go right outside, and something with a bit of a yard/nice for walking her.

Bandit---We are almost done with puppy classes! Our repertoire of commands include: sit, down, off, roll-over, leave it, come, and we are working on stay, shake, and hi-5 (we just learned them at last night's class). Next Sunday is graduation! Of course we will still be homeschooling even though our classes are over. EW and I have talked about furthering her education, so Bandit will be going to intermediate classes, where they learn more advanced commands, like 'wait' is a short-term 'stay'. We are going to wait a couple months for her to become polished on her first commands. This summer is pretty crazy with a couple weddings, and moving (possibly out of the area), so we will see where we are come fall, and re-enroll her then.

With all of the above going on, I haven't really felt myself lately. At first it felt great to not be in the place I was when I was working. The environment was just not for me. But after a few days, I have slipped into the place where I was before I had the job. Lost, confused, not knowing where my 'place' is. I have to say, Bandit really helps be shake some of these feelings, because she is needy (always wanting to go out, go on a walk, play, etc.). The black hole I have fallen into becomes gray, and not so looming, but it's still there. This past year has been one of the best/worst of my life. I have gained so much, yet lost alot too. I'm one of those people that have a hard time regaining their balance when things shift. My life keeps shifting, and I just can't seem to catch up. I need normal, I crave it. The only times I feel the ground beneath me are the nights EW, Bandit and I are together, and when I am Home (my parents' house). Those are the only times that I feel right. I'm really hoping I can re-gain my balance in the next few months. Between moving, and starting a new career (hopefully one that I actually enjoy), I can feel more stable.

My brother and I at Easter.
Taken by my dad, who was sitting...lol

It won't let me type below the last picture, so the last pic will be my PS.

-Brina

PS.

Bandit with her Easter gift from Granma & Granpa