Nope, not the game with the big stick that you have to go under backwards, but the space. Is limbo considered a space? Well, I'm pretty sure I'm there. With no prospects for a job, still no place to live, and now no understanding of what sort of mass I have in my sinus cavity.
2 doctors and 1 radiologist believed it was fibrous dysplasia. I went to the sinus specialist, and he doesn't believe it is F.D. because I would be the THIRD person in the world to have F.D. in the sinus cavity. He believes it is something that looks like F.D. Also, for those wondering. My bone scan came back with spots on my ribs. Great. I then had to get x-rays of the ribs to see if I had other places of F.D. If I had other spots, then what is in my sinus most likely was F.D. and I would be the 3rd case in the world. whoo hoo. Well the x-rays came back normal. Which I'm happy about, but now what does that mean about my sinus? The drs. are split. This puts me back to where I was over a month ago. It's so frustrating to go through all the drs. and all the tests. Them giving you a diagnosis and then trying to accept it, finally getting to the point where you are ok with the fact that you were born with this and that you will have it for the rest of your life. I did all that, and now it may not even be F.D. The sinus doctor is still having me to the endocrinologist just to 'make sure' it isn't F.D. If it isn't, they will most likely want a biopsy to make sure it isn't cancer, or wait for 6 months to see if it grows. I hate the whole 6 months thing. If it is cancer and it's in my head, then 6 months could be too late! So the saga continues until Aug. 8th, which is my endo. appt.
The job thing is not even worth talking about, but I will, of course. I'm still having too many regrets, too much anger in both myself and the economy. Too many questions bounce around my head every day about if I made the right decision by moving here or did I make the right decision with my college major? Should I have done more endorsements, maybe a business minor? All of these questions make me very depressed and make me doubt myself as a person. I just want to see some light at the end of the tunnel, that's all.
As for apartments. We are scheduled to see 5 tomorrow! I'm really hopeful that we will find something we like, and can move in as soon as possible. I'm ready to start over, decorate, and get back to normal. I hope that we can live at this new place more than a year, but I'm sure we'll have another move before we get a house, since we will only have 1 bedroom, and if we have a baby within the next 2 years, it will be hard to have a crib in our bedroom. Ah well, that's all in the future. I have enough to worry about right now.
Fun events are coming up soon! I'm going home at the end of July with Bandit to visit my parents. EW is coming for the weekend since we have a wedding to go to. Also, we will be getting our family pictures taken, which I am super excited about! EW, Bandit, and I will be getting a family portrait, and I'm going to get my parents in too! I hope to get a good picture for our Christmas card! Which I'm sure I'll have done by Thanksgiving :)
Sorry, no new pictures. I've been lazy with the camera lately. I'll post pictures if we find an apartment we like!
-Brina
Friday, July 22, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
The Past Month
This past month had been a real whirl-wind. I thought other months have gone by fast, but this one has to take the cake. Our lease is up July 9th, and we knew we wanted to be out before then, since we have a wedding to go to, and I miss Bandit so much, and also, we needed the apartment pretty empty to be able to clean it.
We got a storage unit at the U-haul around the corner from our apartment, and lots of boxes. Everyday I tried to get a few more things packed up. On the weekends, I had EW to help me out. As the picture below demonstrates, this is what happens when you ask my husband to put the box together:
Nice right? Ah, he does help me laugh when things get a little too stressful. And we all know that I get stressed out pretty easily. I best thing is that he couldn't get it off and I had to pull a lot to get him out.
Thanks to my father-in-law, uncle-in-law, and brother-in-law, Eric and I managed to get everything we own either to the storage unit or EW's parent's house. Which we are living at for now.
Still no job offers, but that's how it is. We will be searching in a few weeks to see what we can find in this area and more south. As long as we are near a train station, EW can get to his job.
This is another moving picture. It's of the 2nd bedroom, and only 1/4 of the boxes. By the time I had everything packed up, I had already packed my camera, go-figure.
In other news: Bandit is adjusting well to her new surroundings. I think she's a bit confused with all the adults around, but once we get into our new place, she will fit back into our little family, just the three of us. That's until she gets a sister, of course. Which will probably be a year or so down the road. I know several people who say that two dogs are easier than one, since they keep each other company. I want Bandit to have a friend. She loves the little dog next door and cries when she goes outside, hoping he will play with her. Yeah, mommy can't take that, so eventually we will add to the family. This time though, it will be an older dog, 1-2yrs. No more puppies for this momma. I am way too selfish to give up that much sleep ever again!
This month we have 2 weddings to attend, so I will be writing about those events in the next few weeks, and I'll update if I find out more about my diagnosis.
-Brina
We got a storage unit at the U-haul around the corner from our apartment, and lots of boxes. Everyday I tried to get a few more things packed up. On the weekends, I had EW to help me out. As the picture below demonstrates, this is what happens when you ask my husband to put the box together:
Nice right? Ah, he does help me laugh when things get a little too stressful. And we all know that I get stressed out pretty easily. I best thing is that he couldn't get it off and I had to pull a lot to get him out.Thanks to my father-in-law, uncle-in-law, and brother-in-law, Eric and I managed to get everything we own either to the storage unit or EW's parent's house. Which we are living at for now.
Still no job offers, but that's how it is. We will be searching in a few weeks to see what we can find in this area and more south. As long as we are near a train station, EW can get to his job.
This is another moving picture. It's of the 2nd bedroom, and only 1/4 of the boxes. By the time I had everything packed up, I had already packed my camera, go-figure.
In other news: Bandit is adjusting well to her new surroundings. I think she's a bit confused with all the adults around, but once we get into our new place, she will fit back into our little family, just the three of us. That's until she gets a sister, of course. Which will probably be a year or so down the road. I know several people who say that two dogs are easier than one, since they keep each other company. I want Bandit to have a friend. She loves the little dog next door and cries when she goes outside, hoping he will play with her. Yeah, mommy can't take that, so eventually we will add to the family. This time though, it will be an older dog, 1-2yrs. No more puppies for this momma. I am way too selfish to give up that much sleep ever again!
This month we have 2 weddings to attend, so I will be writing about those events in the next few weeks, and I'll update if I find out more about my diagnosis.
-Brina
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Fibrous Dysplasia...say what?
As you all know I have been absent for the past...oh month or so. This post will not have any pictures to look at or really any cute stories to tell, so sorry in advance. This post is really for me, to let my anxiety flow from my body to my fingers and finally to become the written word. If you don't want to read this, I understand. Ok, so here is the past month of my life, and how I became diagnosed with Fibrous Dysplasia.
It's been about a month now since my first appointment to the Ear/Nose/Throat dr. I have been having chronic sinus infections, well since forever. This winter was especially hard with one after another. I have had lots of sinus pain and I finally thought since I have decent health insurance I might as well get it checked out. I talk with the ENT and he thinks we should get a CT scan of my sinus. Good, we are finally getting somewhere! So the next week I go get the test done, 10 minutes, I was done, easy as pie. I had to wait another 2 weeks to get the results. So I go in, I believe it was June 24th, and while in the waiting room I'm thinking that they will tell me I have sensitive sinuses, they will give me some meds/advice and all will be good. Well, not so much. The dr. comes in, goes over the scans, points to a mass. Then says, yeah that's not supposed to be there. Radiologist says it's fibrous dysplasia. Uh...HUH? Ok, at this point I'm thinking, this is NOT what I signed up for. They weren't supposed to find a MASS in my sinus cavity. So the dr. is still talking, and he doesn't know what it really is, except that he knows my bone is turning into fiber, which means, I no longer have bone in that part of my head. LOVELY.
Dr. decides to have me go to another dr. and have them look at the scans. So I find a family dr. in the same practice and make an appt. First one goes pretty well. She thinks the radiologist over-called it and it's probably just scar tissue from several sinus infections. OK, I can handle that. But just in case, she will have me go see another dr. and see what they think. A few days go by, I get a call from the family dr. She wants to see me the next day. She has new information and will need to do some tests.
Ok, we're getting somewhere, but the whole, 'more tests' has me a bit confused. If I need more tests, that means something's wrong, right? I go in the next day. EW leaves work early just in case they tell me something horrible. (over-reacting? my ass. You have never been to a dr. where they told you that you had a brain tumor with just looking at you and taking your symptoms. Then proceeding to say that their father died of a brain tumor and they just diagnosed a young girl with one the other day!)
EW wasn't there yet, so I went in alone. Nurse had to do an ekg. Ok, so something is up if you need to test my heart. Dr. comes in and says that she has conferenced with the ENT and Radiologist, it's definitely fibrous dysplasia. Ok. I'm still breathing...so what does this mean? Well my bone is definitely turning into fiber in my head, but I need a full-body bone scan to see if there are 'tumors' anywhere else. The chances are not likely since I've never broken a bone, but I haven't played sports or high impact anything my entire life. The other thing is that the FD can screw with your hormones. Next stop on my list of dr.'s is an Endocrinologist and a ENT sinus specialist.
My bone scan is this Thursday. Sinus guy the Friday after next. I am relieved I don't have cancer...well at least they don't think it is cancerous. Only 1% of FD actually becomes cancer. The sinus dr. might want a biopsy (really not looking forward to that). I have done some research and the things that the dr.'s have told me, which isn't much. I should know more in the next few weeks when my tests come back and I see the rest of the dr.'s.
How did I get this? I've had it since birth, FD is a genetic mutation and they believe about 1 in 15,000-30,000 have it somewhere in their body. This could account for all the sinus pain I've had all my life and the seemingly endless headaches. There is no cure. They will continue to watch my 'tumor(s)' for the rest of my life, to see any change, or if it is bigger/etc.
It's easy to think that after all the little things here and there I'd had to deal with, why must there be another? But then I think of all the people that are going through way more than I've been handed. It doesn't make my issues go away, but it does make them a bit easier. God does also. He will never give you more than you can handle. He is always with you, always there. I will say with the move, trying to find a new place, and the job hunt, I have felt like I'm drowning and I just can't quite make it to the top, but then EW will say something, Bandit will do something, my mom will yell something, and I will pop back out of the water, and float for a bit longer.
Well that was alot. More will come about what else has been going on!
-Brina
It's been about a month now since my first appointment to the Ear/Nose/Throat dr. I have been having chronic sinus infections, well since forever. This winter was especially hard with one after another. I have had lots of sinus pain and I finally thought since I have decent health insurance I might as well get it checked out. I talk with the ENT and he thinks we should get a CT scan of my sinus. Good, we are finally getting somewhere! So the next week I go get the test done, 10 minutes, I was done, easy as pie. I had to wait another 2 weeks to get the results. So I go in, I believe it was June 24th, and while in the waiting room I'm thinking that they will tell me I have sensitive sinuses, they will give me some meds/advice and all will be good. Well, not so much. The dr. comes in, goes over the scans, points to a mass. Then says, yeah that's not supposed to be there. Radiologist says it's fibrous dysplasia. Uh...HUH? Ok, at this point I'm thinking, this is NOT what I signed up for. They weren't supposed to find a MASS in my sinus cavity. So the dr. is still talking, and he doesn't know what it really is, except that he knows my bone is turning into fiber, which means, I no longer have bone in that part of my head. LOVELY.
Dr. decides to have me go to another dr. and have them look at the scans. So I find a family dr. in the same practice and make an appt. First one goes pretty well. She thinks the radiologist over-called it and it's probably just scar tissue from several sinus infections. OK, I can handle that. But just in case, she will have me go see another dr. and see what they think. A few days go by, I get a call from the family dr. She wants to see me the next day. She has new information and will need to do some tests.
Ok, we're getting somewhere, but the whole, 'more tests' has me a bit confused. If I need more tests, that means something's wrong, right? I go in the next day. EW leaves work early just in case they tell me something horrible. (over-reacting? my ass. You have never been to a dr. where they told you that you had a brain tumor with just looking at you and taking your symptoms. Then proceeding to say that their father died of a brain tumor and they just diagnosed a young girl with one the other day!)
EW wasn't there yet, so I went in alone. Nurse had to do an ekg. Ok, so something is up if you need to test my heart. Dr. comes in and says that she has conferenced with the ENT and Radiologist, it's definitely fibrous dysplasia. Ok. I'm still breathing...so what does this mean? Well my bone is definitely turning into fiber in my head, but I need a full-body bone scan to see if there are 'tumors' anywhere else. The chances are not likely since I've never broken a bone, but I haven't played sports or high impact anything my entire life. The other thing is that the FD can screw with your hormones. Next stop on my list of dr.'s is an Endocrinologist and a ENT sinus specialist.
My bone scan is this Thursday. Sinus guy the Friday after next. I am relieved I don't have cancer...well at least they don't think it is cancerous. Only 1% of FD actually becomes cancer. The sinus dr. might want a biopsy (really not looking forward to that). I have done some research and the things that the dr.'s have told me, which isn't much. I should know more in the next few weeks when my tests come back and I see the rest of the dr.'s.
How did I get this? I've had it since birth, FD is a genetic mutation and they believe about 1 in 15,000-30,000 have it somewhere in their body. This could account for all the sinus pain I've had all my life and the seemingly endless headaches. There is no cure. They will continue to watch my 'tumor(s)' for the rest of my life, to see any change, or if it is bigger/etc.
It's easy to think that after all the little things here and there I'd had to deal with, why must there be another? But then I think of all the people that are going through way more than I've been handed. It doesn't make my issues go away, but it does make them a bit easier. God does also. He will never give you more than you can handle. He is always with you, always there. I will say with the move, trying to find a new place, and the job hunt, I have felt like I'm drowning and I just can't quite make it to the top, but then EW will say something, Bandit will do something, my mom will yell something, and I will pop back out of the water, and float for a bit longer.
Well that was alot. More will come about what else has been going on!
-Brina
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)