Limbo

Nope, not the game with the big stick that you have to go under backwards, but the space. Is limbo considered a space? Well, I'm pretty sure I'm there. With no prospects for a job, still no place to live, and now no understanding of what sort of mass I have in my sinus cavity.
2 doctors and 1 radiologist believed it was fibrous dysplasia. I went to the sinus specialist, and he doesn't believe it is F.D. because I would be the THIRD person in the world to have F.D. in the sinus cavity. He believes it is something that looks like F.D. Also, for those wondering. My bone scan came back with spots on my ribs. Great. I then had to get x-rays of the ribs to see if I had other places of F.D. If I had other spots, then what is in my sinus most likely was F.D. and I would be the 3rd case in the world. whoo hoo. Well the x-rays came back normal. Which I'm happy about, but now what does that mean about my sinus? The drs. are split. This puts me back to where I was over a month ago. It's so frustrating to go through all the drs. and all the tests. Them giving you a diagnosis and then trying to accept it, finally getting to the point where you are ok with the fact that you were born with this and that you will have it for the rest of your life. I did all that, and now it may not even be F.D. The sinus doctor is still having me to the endocrinologist just to 'make sure' it isn't F.D. If it isn't, they will most likely want a biopsy to make sure it isn't cancer, or wait for 6 months to see if it grows. I hate the whole 6 months thing. If it is cancer and it's in my head, then 6 months could be too late! So the saga continues until Aug. 8th, which is my endo. appt.
The job thing is not even worth talking about, but I will, of course. I'm still having too many regrets, too much anger in both myself and the economy. Too many questions bounce around my head every day about if I made the right decision by moving here or did I make the right decision with my college major? Should I have done more endorsements, maybe a business minor? All of these questions make me very depressed and make me doubt myself as a person. I just want to see some light at the end of the tunnel, that's all.
As for apartments. We are scheduled to see 5 tomorrow! I'm really hopeful that we will find something we like, and can move in as soon as possible. I'm ready to start over, decorate, and get back to normal. I hope that we can live at this new place more than a year, but I'm sure we'll have another move before we get a house, since we will only have 1 bedroom, and if we have a baby within the next 2 years, it will be hard to have a crib in our bedroom. Ah well, that's all in the future. I have enough to worry about right now.
Fun events are coming up soon! I'm going home at the end of July with Bandit to visit my parents. EW is coming for the weekend since we have a wedding to go to. Also, we will be getting our family pictures taken, which I am super excited about! EW, Bandit, and I will be getting a family portrait, and I'm going to get my parents in too! I hope to get a good picture for our Christmas card! Which I'm sure I'll have done by Thanksgiving :)

Sorry, no new pictures. I've been lazy with the camera lately. I'll post pictures if we find an apartment we like!

-Brina